If Only.....What If

If only.... What if....

Have you ever had thoughts like these? What if I had gone to  college? Or moved to a different city? If only I had followed up on that one business opportunity, or joined that one group. What might my life have been like then? Would I have been happier? Wealthier? Healthier? I think all of us have a tendency to look back and wonder what might have been, if only I had done _________ (fill in the blank).

However, I like to think I have been fairly successful in looking to the future instead of the past. When it comes time to make a decision, any decision, I tell myself to make the best choice (or what I think is the best choice) at that moment in my life, and move on. Do not look back. This reasoning has kept me fairly sane throughout my life. (Please don't ask my sisters if I am reasonably sane; they could give you a different answer.)

Anyway, I think that this kind of logic is what makes it hard for me to read a book like

Destiny of the Republic: A Tale of Madness, Medicine, and the Murder of a President, by Candice Millard. Because this book is about a local man—Garfield's home was, and still is, in Mentor—I had to read it. is a very well-written and compelling book about the assassination of President James A. Garfield.  It intertwines the life and death of Garfield with inventions by Alexander Graham Bell and discoveries by the French scientist Joseph Lister. Although the book was very good, I had a hard time reading it because it concentrated a lot on What If... and If Only, making me a bit depressed about what might have been. But if you like history and/ or biography, you will want to read this book. It gives us a picture of a man who would have made a great difference in this country, if only he had lived to serve out his term, or terms, as President.

Chaos in the Home

Chaos reigned at my house yesterday, and I loved it!

My granddaughter, Heather, and her two sons came over in the morning to make nisu. Nisu is the old name for the Finnish sweet biscuit now called pulla; and I have been making it once or twice a year, using my Mumma's recipe, since I was a teenager. While Heather and I were working, Den was hauling boxes of Christmas decorations down from the attic, and trying to keep an eye on Peyton, who had to make sure everything in the house was in exactly the same place as the last time he visited, which was about a week earlier.

Heather put on Christmas music while we worked; we needed to get in the Christmas spirit. Just as we finished kneading the dough and putting it to rise for the first time, my daughter-in-law Beth came in. She and Heather, with Peyton's sporadic help, decorated the tree and managed to make the house a bit more festive.

Heather and I then added the eggs to the nisu dough, more flour, and kneaded well; and put it to rise, once more, behind the wood burner. Next, Peyton, Landon, and I decided there was just time for a quick swim before the nisu needed to be braided and put in the pans. Actually, Peyton decided and I just went along to hold Landon. Soon Landon and I were done in the pool, so we dried off and got dressed. Peyton stayed in the pool a while longer, with Paappa on guard. 

Unfortunately, Peyton didn't stay in the pool long enough; he had to help with the nisu dough braiding, which took no time at all. After rising for the third time, the nisu was ready to bake. By now, son Adam had shown up, bearing takeout salad and sandwiches. Assorted drinks - coffee, milk, and water - were gotten, and butter taken out of the refrigerator. 

With Heather baking pan after pan of nisu, and the rest of us trying to find room in our small house for drinks, toys, dogs, plates, babies, and napkins, we were ready for fresh, hot biscuit. The girls had done a great job; it was delicious!

Somehow, we had managed to get everything done. The dogs were fed, Landon had a nice long nap, Peyton played and worked as hard as only a three-year-old can, the tree and house got decorated, everyone got fed, and there was nisu for everyone for Christmas. What a wonderful day! Thank you all.

TIME

Time. Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition defines "time" as "the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues: Duration." It does not say that time is a variable. An hour is an hour is an hour.

Why then does time seem to change so much? Time moves so much faster these days than ever before. The time it used to take me to wrap a present just a few years ago was measured in minutes. Now it could be an hour. Cleaning the house takes a lot longer than it used to, and I may not even do as good a job (don't tell, please). It even takes me longer to get moving in the morning - longer to get out of bed, get dressed, have that first cup of coffee, etc. Sometimes it is close to noon before Den and I have finished breakfast. And those of you who know me, please don't say it's because I like to stay up into the wee hours so can't get out of bed at a decent hour. Even if I'm up by 8:30 or 9:00 AM, it's still noon before I'm really moving. And I do a lot of things after you have probably gone to sleep. Ironing, baking, shopping, knitting, reading are all late night activities. Of course, they take more time than they used to.

Conversely, time doesn't seem as important as it once did. If I don't get something done this morning, or this afternoon, or even today, what does it matter? There's always tomorrow. I like to think this is not because I have gotten a bit lazier, but that I am more flexible, that I don't need to be as regimented or as rigidly organized as before. But then, I don't get as much done as I used to. I hate to think this is all a part of getting older. It is hard to think that I am now old; I still expect to see the 35-or 40-year-old career woman when I look in the mirror, not the old lady that looks back at me. Sometimes it even takes a while to remember how lucky I am to have had all this time.

I'm not sure where I am going with this, or what the purpose of this musing about time serves. All I know is that the more time passes, the fewer are the hours in a day. I never seem to get everything done in one day that I have planned. But never mind; it doesn't matter.

The Debate Last Night

Did I miss something in the debate last night? Why didn't President Obama call out Governor Romney on one of his comments? Did I not hear what I thought I heard?

Gov. Romney said, or I thought he said, that he would eliminate the tax on dividends, interest, and capital gains.

My question is, Who has this kind of income? Most of the working poor and the middle class have little, if any, stocks, bonds, or even savings. If we have any at all, it is most likely to be inside our retirement funds, and thus not normally taxable until it is taken out. Even then, we are usually taxed on what is taken out of the retirement account (unless we have a Roth IRA, which has been taxed before being put into the Roth), regardless of how it came to be in the retirement account. Doesn't matter if it was put in as principal, or earned as interest, dividends, or capital gains. We will, most commonly, pay tax on the whole distribution at our normal tax rate, whatever that might be.

The wealthy are the only people who have enough savings, stocks and bonds, etc. to really have a lot of dividends, capital gains, or interest that would make a difference in their yearly taxable income. You and I might have some savings that would generate a few hundred dollars a year in interest, if we are lucky and have been thrifty. But only the top 5% or 10% would have enough to increase their tax bill.

Convince me that this is not a tax cut for the wealthy. I think Gov. Romney is trying to fool a lot of people, including the middle class.

Politics Not as Usual, or Some Things Never change

I do not understand how  or why anyone would want to legislate something that is none of their business (like a woman's choice to have a child, or even to use birth control), something that is patently false (like Thomas Jefferson not having much of an impact on the founding of this country), or something totally idiotic (like  telling schools they cannot teach "higher order thinking skills..."). 

What is wrong with us? Have our citizens been dumbed down enough (by TV, newspapers, and other sources of news, or what passes for news today) not to care what is happening in our country? Can we no longer think for ourselves, or must we all be mindless ditto heads, who believe something just because it is said by someone who can shout louder that someone else.

I know people think I am a bit left of center (don't believe in capital punishment, believe in a woman's right to control her own body, think at least some drugs should be legalized), but I have always thought of myself as mostly moderate. I think that some people have lately been, not just leaning to the right, but running that way. Now we hear that our Republican congressman, Steve LaTourette, has decided not to run for Congress again. His reason? The people in Congress today are totally unable to work together; no one seems to have heard of the word compromise. This saddens me, even though I did not vote for Mr. LaTourette. Or maybe I should be glad, because if even this moderate Republican can see that Congress is a laughingstock, there may be some hope. Could his resignation trigger some introspection and maybe even realization that we must work together or our problems will overcome us, instead of the other way around? It's worth thinking about.

Donations, Contributions, Etc.

Every day, the mail brings at least one new request for a donation. Most of these requests support good causes: policies that need to be heard, children that need medical help, animals that need homes, people that need to be fed. There are also the political requests for support: Democrats, Republicans, groups supporting abortion rights, groups against choice, supporters of private schools, supporters of religious freedom, opposers of religious freedom, people against immigration -  it goes on and on.

How do you decide where you want to send your hard earned dollars? Do you have a favorite charity? Or do you throw most of the requests away until you finally start feeling guilty, then donate to the next one that comes in the mail? I have decided that there are only so many causes I can support, so I have set some (arbitrary) rules.

I don't give donations over the phone - no credit card numbers, no promises, nothing. I don't respond to random mailings, no matter how much the stories may appeal to me. I give only to a few causes that I know are worthwhile, and most of these are local. I'm not saying that other causes aren't worthwhile, because a lot of them are, especially in this election year when it seems that a lot of people want to invade our privacy and take away our rights. Especially hard hit this year are women, who could literally be fighting for their lives.

The choice of which charities or political ideologies to support is a tough one. But it must be made. After all, if I give too much, someone will then have to support me!

Reflections, Not Remembrances

Having just celebrated another birthday, I was tempted to reminisce a bit on the past. But the past is the past, and I try not to look that way too often.

Do I feel old? Sometimes. I know I don't do things like chores as fast as I once did, and maybe that's because I don't have as many deadlines as I once had, and not because I'm slowing down. I do know that the older I get, the more things get crossed off my bucket list, and not necessarily because I have done them. Some things I no longer have the desire to try, like sky diving. How could I have actually wanted to do that? And zip lining is fast going the way of sky diving. Has my sense of adventure disappeared or has common sense taken over?

Then there are the new things that have appeared in my life, like Finnish language lessons. I know I will never learn enough to really carry on a conversation in that language with a native speaker, but I love the sound of the words; and maybe, just maybe, I can pick up a few words here and there. Music has always been one of the staples in my life, and that is not changing. I now have a new kantele (thanks, Larry), and am contemplating getting Mom's banjo out of the attic and possibly taking lessons. Reading is one of my passions; now I have time to read a greater variety of books than I ever did before, although I know I will never get everything read that I would like to. I have also learned a few new skills - a bit of drawing, knitting, crocheting, quilting (that is a very questionable skill), and both ballroom and swing dancing.

I believe the real secret to not feeling old, or being old, or feeling sorry for yourself, is to never look back.  You cannot change the past. I learned a long time ago that you make the best choice you can at the time, then move on. You can only change the future, and what you choose to do with your future is up to you.