TIME

Time. Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition defines "time" as "the measured or measurable period during which an action, process, or condition exists or continues: Duration." It does not say that time is a variable. An hour is an hour is an hour.

Why then does time seem to change so much? Time moves so much faster these days than ever before. The time it used to take me to wrap a present just a few years ago was measured in minutes. Now it could be an hour. Cleaning the house takes a lot longer than it used to, and I may not even do as good a job (don't tell, please). It even takes me longer to get moving in the morning - longer to get out of bed, get dressed, have that first cup of coffee, etc. Sometimes it is close to noon before Den and I have finished breakfast. And those of you who know me, please don't say it's because I like to stay up into the wee hours so can't get out of bed at a decent hour. Even if I'm up by 8:30 or 9:00 AM, it's still noon before I'm really moving. And I do a lot of things after you have probably gone to sleep. Ironing, baking, shopping, knitting, reading are all late night activities. Of course, they take more time than they used to.

Conversely, time doesn't seem as important as it once did. If I don't get something done this morning, or this afternoon, or even today, what does it matter? There's always tomorrow. I like to think this is not because I have gotten a bit lazier, but that I am more flexible, that I don't need to be as regimented or as rigidly organized as before. But then, I don't get as much done as I used to. I hate to think this is all a part of getting older. It is hard to think that I am now old; I still expect to see the 35-or 40-year-old career woman when I look in the mirror, not the old lady that looks back at me. Sometimes it even takes a while to remember how lucky I am to have had all this time.

I'm not sure where I am going with this, or what the purpose of this musing about time serves. All I know is that the more time passes, the fewer are the hours in a day. I never seem to get everything done in one day that I have planned. But never mind; it doesn't matter.

Reflections, Not Remembrances

Having just celebrated another birthday, I was tempted to reminisce a bit on the past. But the past is the past, and I try not to look that way too often.

Do I feel old? Sometimes. I know I don't do things like chores as fast as I once did, and maybe that's because I don't have as many deadlines as I once had, and not because I'm slowing down. I do know that the older I get, the more things get crossed off my bucket list, and not necessarily because I have done them. Some things I no longer have the desire to try, like sky diving. How could I have actually wanted to do that? And zip lining is fast going the way of sky diving. Has my sense of adventure disappeared or has common sense taken over?

Then there are the new things that have appeared in my life, like Finnish language lessons. I know I will never learn enough to really carry on a conversation in that language with a native speaker, but I love the sound of the words; and maybe, just maybe, I can pick up a few words here and there. Music has always been one of the staples in my life, and that is not changing. I now have a new kantele (thanks, Larry), and am contemplating getting Mom's banjo out of the attic and possibly taking lessons. Reading is one of my passions; now I have time to read a greater variety of books than I ever did before, although I know I will never get everything read that I would like to. I have also learned a few new skills - a bit of drawing, knitting, crocheting, quilting (that is a very questionable skill), and both ballroom and swing dancing.

I believe the real secret to not feeling old, or being old, or feeling sorry for yourself, is to never look back.  You cannot change the past. I learned a long time ago that you make the best choice you can at the time, then move on. You can only change the future, and what you choose to do with your future is up to you.