How Vacations have Changed

We just returned from a short, six-day vacation.   Years ago, well, not really that long ago, the success of a vacation was measured by how many books I was able to read.  How times have changed.  This last trip saw not even one book finished, and we were gone from Thursday to Tuesday.  Why the difference?  Was the book I was reading so boring that I just couldn't get through it?

Not at all. It was a very good book, interesting and not hard to read.  What has changed is me.  For one thing, my eyes are not what they should be, or used to be.  I cannot stare at a page of words for hours on end anymore; I need a break every 30 or 40 minutes.  Also, I have decided that Den needs me to talk to him to keep him alert as he drives; though, if you ask him, he will say it is not at all necessary.

Maybe the most important difference is that I have finally developed the ability to just let my mind go.   I can enjoy the scenery passing by the car's windows; or I can close my eyes, just for a few seconds.  When I do those things, it is amazing what happens in my head.  Sometimes, my thoughts go nowhere, or I may not even think coherently.  Other times, the wonderful world outside the car makes questions and observations just appear; things that I can share with Den.  But the biggest change of all is that I don't have to always be doing something, even if that something is reading.

Writing -- Is It Over?

It has been several weeks since I wrote anything and wrote for any length of time.  Yesterday I had a very scary thought:  What if I never want to write again?  I have been making excuse after excuse -- first getting the rental house ready, then knitting, working out, walking the dog, cooking, baking -- about all the things I need to do (getting ready for Christmas has moved to the top of the list) that there hasn't been any time to write.  Are all these excuses just cop outs?  Was I ever really meant to write?  Maybe someone or something is telling me that I am not a very good writer and should just quit trying.  There are a lot more fun things to do than sit at the computer for hours, trying to put words on the screen that will tell a story, and tell it well enough that other people would enjoy reading it.

I will, and have been, thinking and praying about this a lot lately.  What should I do?  I have always wanted to be a writer, ever since our Airedale, Terry, taught me to read when I was in the first grade.  Or has it been that, because I like reading, that I thought I wanted to be a writer?  I know what I should say -- I AM A WRITER!  That is probably how I should think, too, I am a writer.  I will sit  at the computer and put words on the screen and create a story that will entertain others.  I may not become rich, or even make a decent living doing this, but my stories will get published, as will my books eventually.  I will do it; and I can do it.

Was that last paragraph the answer to my prayers?  I'm not sure where else it would have come from; the words just seemed to pour out of me and onto the screen.

Writing

Just finished mopping floors and moving furniture around. I think I did this because I'm having a hard time right now with my writing. I know all I have to do is sit down, open a word file and start writing. The words will come. But I just feel so unproductive right now, like maybe I'm not meant to write. I am truly amassing a large collection of rejection slips; should I keep on writing?

Of course I should. My stories are outlets for my feelings, thoughts and observations. I will continue to struggle with trying to get my thoughts down onto paper, or rather, in the computer. I even have this nifty little keyboard with a tiny screen called an NEO by AlphaSmart. I can take this keyboard out by the lake or in the backyard or on vacation and work on my stories on it. When I get back home, I just download what I have written into the computer and go from there. Is technology great, or what?

So there it is -- I have to write. One of these days, the magic news will come -- someone, somewhere will like a story of mine so much that they will publish it, and maybe even pay me for it!

For all his faults, Senator Ted Kennedy was a true patriot and an outspoken liberal Democrat, always working for the good of the country, A friend of mine, Bob Van Der Velde, had the best comment on a sad day via @jenhouse @dannyfriedman @azchela: "In Lieu of flowers, please pass health care reform".