The last seven months have been very distressing for me and for my family. However, it seems to be true that time does heal, or at least covers over, the worst of the horribly aching feelings that have invaded my whole being. I have to admit that I am reluctant even now to write about the depth of my feelings; they are very hard, if not impossible, to put into words. These feelings are much too emotional to talk about, but they have to come out somehow, so here they are.
The worst thing that you could imagine happening, happened on August 29, 2011. Our niece was murdered by her boyfriend. I know murders happen much too frequently; but it doesn't happen to someone you know, much less to someone in your family. It hurts way too much to talk about, even to those you love, and who loved and knew the person who was killed. But I know that my sister-in-law needs to talk about her beautiful daughter, needs to know that others share her pain (although we do not feel it as deeply as she does), needs to know that we, too, will never forget. But I find myself unable to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing; I am afraid of hurting her more deeply than she has already been hurt, even though I know that is impossible. Maybe writing about this will make it a bit easier for me to help her, for her to know that I am here if she needs me.
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