Who, or what. do I want to be when I grow up? I think I finally know the answer to that question -- I want to be me. I think I am leading an almost perfect life. I can go to bed when I'm tired. I can get up when, or if, I feel like it. I can walk to the library and the grocery store (what else do I need except books and food?). I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, and whom I love more than anyone or anything ( this after almost 46 years of being together). Our dog, Tater, is not quite perfect, but he's close and he's adorable.
Outside my front door is the whole expanse of Lake Erie with its ever changing waves, multi-colored clouds and glorious sunsets. Outside my back door is a cozy, private yard, with a gurgling fish pond and lots of colorful flowers. I have everything I need and most of the things I want.
Of course, I still need to lose weight, I wish there were more hours in the day, and I wish I could sell my stories. But we all need something to look forward to.
I would also like to be more of a people person. Instead of hiding out in the country of North Mentor, I should be out having lunch with friends, discussing politics over coffee in one of the local coffee shops, or shopping for things I may or may not need with the people in my life who like to do that sort of thing.
As I am thinking about it, if I would do all those things, I wouldn't be me. There would be even less hours in the day to write, garden, read, take the dog for a walk -- all those solitary things I really enjoy. So I really don't want to be more of a people person. I must be a fairly private person; most of my pursuits are solitary ones, and I like to be alone with Den, even if we don't talk much. I do have friends that I enjoy; but they seem to understand and respect my need for privacy. We don't have to see each other every day, or talk every day; but I know that if I need them, they will be there for me.
I am constantly thankful for this life that I am leading. I am the most fortunate of women.
This was good. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
ReplyDeleteVladimir Nabokov once said that the purpose of storytelling is “to portray ordinary objects as they will be reflected in the kindly mirrors of future times; to find in the objects around us the fragrant tenderness that only posterity will discern and appreciate in far-off times when every trifle of our plain everyday life will become exquisite and festive in its own right: the times when a man who might put on the most ordinary jacket of today will be dressed up for an elegant masquerade.”
The best,
Tom